Friday, July 6, 2012

Shy love

You know it is a constant whine for me, but I do have to release my frustrations.  I have to admit it; I am not that good with women and I never really had a successful relationship with women.  I did probably dated women, and the farthest that I got is holding hands, but I have never been in any serious relationships or romance at all.

I seen other people my age who have boyfriends and girlfriends and I always wonder how do they get these girls.  I have been noticing something about me that they don't have.  What seem to get the girls?  And  I have been going after, or having crushes on girls that are usually taken by some other guy, most likely a guy that was seem as "cooler" than me or more with it than me.

I think I have been going after, or fantasizing, the wrong type of girls.  I think I been going after the girl for the looks, and it is usually a blonde, or a redhead, but it was there for the looks.  I am not looking at too many brunettes even though brunettes are a lot more common, and they are "boring" in my mind.  I think I have been not looking at the personality or the interests of the girls, or I don't really have a personality that is too defined myself.

I really don't know the girls but if I got to know the girls, I probably won't have anything in common.  I think I am going after girls that look nice but I don't have much to talk about.

I like music and there are a lot of girls that like music, but a lot of them are liking music that I don't listen to too often such as rock music or country music.  I listened to a lot of R&B, hip-hop, pop, and dance, and it seems like R&B and hip-hop was not a common girl interest around my area.  A lot of them are kind of "country" and "redneck" girls that like to do things such as mudding, four wheeling, fishing, hunting, and all these outdoorsy stuff.  Of course I have been in a small town and that's what we do in a small town.  A lot of girls are also involved in sports and they like to play basketball, etc. and probably want guys that are involved in sports.

I think around my area, I think I was not having that much common interests with the other girls, and I think a lot of it is I am wrinkling up my nose at the "small  town redneck stuff".  There  are probably not too many girls around me that like to listen to R&B/hip-hop music that are white, because that style of music is created by and made for "colored people", and there are not that many "colored people" around my area.  I think a lot of it was not appreciating where I was living and being too picky.  I am probably living that fantasy of having a trophy blonde that likes the same "city music" - this might work on MTV but not really in where I live.  A lot of the blondes where I live probably like country music and they are influenced by country than the more "urban music."

But now I have a chance and I am more open minded with music than I used to, and I should start appreciating more the "hometown stuff" and get rid of the "redneck prejudice" just like I was told not to like  "black prejudice".  You do have prejudice but I shouldn't stereotype people and be prejudice, even of white people.  Rednecks are a stereotype and really it has been boiled down to anybody that is rural and likes to listen to country music and is at a lower class.  There are a lot of hard working people that are rednecks that will keep the country going.

I think I might have a better chance with girls when I am more open minded about girls.  I should take a lot at various girls and to see my inner beauty.

Dating might be easier if I have a more "open mind" and start finding girls that have interests and a personality similar to me, and values similar to me.  I shouls really listen to the values that are put into "hip-hop/R&B" music and "country music" and see which is more similar to me.  The girls that listen to country are pretty conservative and I seem to be more conservative than I think, and really I had explored the "liberal media" that are on MTV.

I think there is a girl that thinks that I am very special, and I wish  I have the guts to get to know her, and have a special relationship.

There are a lot of finding myself and there are a lot of  exploring to day - I was more open minded than most high school kids but I had my prejudice as well.

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