Sunday, July 8, 2012

I wish I had another chance with this girl

I never really had a girlfriend all my life, but I had gotten very close to having one a few years ago.  This girl really liked me, but I never really gotten to know her since I was going to college, but she was very special for me.  I did have feelings for her but I was too shy to break the ice, but I did have sort of an "online relationship".  I really wanted to get to know her but I did have a chance, but I have blew that chance.

The worse thing happen and I was starting to go in a loneliness and a depression.  She found a another boyfriend and I felt like I had lost my love. I never really felt the same and it was a lonely year.  I am trying to get her back but she was sucking on to that boyfriend.  That boyfriend was a lot different from me; he was sort of a jock and she was in sports - both of them are sort of athletic and at least they have something in common.  But she seemed like a nice girl to get to know but the fact that I am not in sports probably got me away from her - I probably don't have much in common.  But I really want to get to know this girl because she was special.

It was very lonely and depressing, and that girl made things feel so good. I don't know why but I think she would of made a great date.  But I had lost the chance with that girl and that made things very lonely.  School was very lonely and I was with roommates that I didn't really care for, and there were not too many girls over there that didn't want to get to know me.  The roommates were not that cool and I was ashamed of hanging with these roommates.  That damaged my reputation a lot and that girl was the escape.  But I was trapped with these roommates and things were not that happy.  I was trying to fit in and make new friends,and I did make a friend or too, but the apartment life was not that good for me.

That girl was very special for me and someday she might have another chance.  I don't think I found too many girls that I like and I don't really care about the people that were around me in the last few years.  College was a very lonely time and it seems like there are not too many people around me that could appreciate me.

I have been told that I think different and act different than a lot of the people around here.  But eventually there are going to be people that are going to be a lot like me.  I don't think I am as weird as I think I am.   Lets see how I am different.  I think one thing is that I am not currently involved in sports.  I do like music but I am probably interested in more mature music that a lot of college students, but I should have an open mind.  I am not much of a gamer. But eventually there are going to be people that think and act like me - we have the wonderful world of the world wide web to find people that are similar to me.

I would like to have another chance with this girl, but I need to have some help finding a girl. I would like to find  a girl just like her - she is very special to me but I would like to have another girl that has the same personality as her and look a lot similar to her.  She is very beautiful and I deep down love her.  But I am not sure if she truly loves me or she loves some other guy.  I think I am going to feel very hurt if I can't have a chance with her - I think it is very hard to find girls that are just like her.

Lord please let me have a chance with this girl or help me find a girl that is just like her.  She was very special to me and she made me feel very good - I feel very special when she is close to me and I would like to get to know her. I don't know if she likes me or not, and I am not sure if I want to take the risk of getting to know her.  I tend to be shy around girls but I like this girl - she is mine and these other guy is really making me feel sort of tough emotionally.



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