It's like a prison that I can't escape

I see other people running around and having fun, and it looks like I never been involved in this. I am looking at some of the people on the internet that I was friends with - no they are starting to even have babies and are in steady commited relationships.  I think they are a little bit too young for having babies and even some of the people that are my peers are getting married.  This is making me feel a little bit discouraged because I never got to this level,

At least I got to the level of getting a job, but the orientation has been postponed for me because I did not bring my proper idenification.  But at least they are ready for me to work and I have been waiting all these years to work.  It is a new beginning for me and I have a new idenity for me - I am finally going  to get out of this prison.

Lets hope I am going to get out of this prison - it seems like I haven't really had the most successful relationships and whenever I had attempted to get started with a relationship, I fail.  I don't know what is the cause of this problem. Don't women like me or people in general like me?

I am going to get some new roommates and hopefully I am going to get out of the prison.  I don't want to be trapped for life with the same old same old - I want to move forward and be like everyone else, and I am gradually starting to become more like everyone else.  But it is a long way to go.  I hope the next week of orientation is going to get me out of this prison and I hope I am not going to have this inmate feeling when I am forced to be with certain people.

I seem to be very socially ostracized indeed, especially with being with not the coolest roommates.  I had been having roommates that are not much in common with me and are not interested in me, and their buddies are not their type as well.  There has been a lot of drama and it seems like I can't escape the drama.

Facebook is a great way to keep track of my life and the only people that "seem" to care for  me are relatives that I barely know.  I don't have many peers that care for me; maybe I don't think like them or they are just bored with me, or they are liking me too intimately for the sake of relatives and not knowing me because of a person.  It is time for me to get someone else to respect me besides the relatives.

This becoming independent thing has it's tough things but really it is hard for me to choose any relationships.  I think it should be time for someone to like me or appreciate me, and I hope things are going to get a little better.  I want to be known more than a person that is a relative claw, even with ones that don't seem to know me that well.  They are farther away and they are not close relatives - I don't really know them real well and it looks like they are getting annoying.

I do like family but I would like to  have my own family; my own relationships and my own people to care for.  I have a tendency to suck onto mom too much but I think I need someone else - I can have too much of mom.

I don't want to be this lonely, freaky guy that seem to get the same people suck on me that are undesirable, lowering my self esteem and being in the same situations.  There are probably not much love and whoever I think is attracted is sucked on to some other lunk, and I am starting to think why me?  I am not that bad of a guy and why this guy gets the date and why not me.

I hope things are going to get better - it is a lonely world out there and I am trying to survive that cold lonely world.