Who am I?

It looks like somedays I feel like I am nothing and it looks like I am going nowhere.  But some days I seem to don't care.  It looks like there is a lot of choices to make but it looks like there is something that is not me.  Some days I don't feel like I want to grow up; there is a childhood I want to hang on to.  Somedays it is easier for me to sit around and whine, and not do anything.  There are too many choices to make and someday I really don't know who I am.

I am going to school right now and I am in confusion.  It looks like I don't really have many goals and it looks like I don't really have a good concept of what I am good at.  I am starting to get a pretty good view of the world and I am starting to get a pretty good view of people, but I haven't really had that much experience in anything.  It looks like I spend a lot of time thinking instead of doing things, and I really don't know what I want to do.

Really this growing up thing is scary and really I still want to hang on to childhood a little bit longer.  It looks like there is a lot of responsibility out there and a lot of stress out there, and I don't want to accept getting older.  I still want to be this little boy out there but eventually the little boy is not going to stay for long.  There is a lot of things about my youth that I want to relive or make up; it looks like things had not been that great.  It seems like I didn't really had the best friends or did the best things; it seems like I want to spend a lot of my time alone.  Even now it seems like I want to spend my time alone and it looks like some days I don't have a trust for people.

It seems like I want to be dating and stuff like that too - but it looks like I don't really have that much initatiate.  It looks like there are a lot of things to go through and it looks like a lot of things had been very tough for me.  It seems like a lot of things are going wrong with me and it looks like I had a very tough time at school. It seems like I have a very tough time in school now but it looks like I don't want to get to know anyone - I get to know people but I don't have anything in common.  I am always whining about high school and my childhood, and it looks like I have no real goals.  It looks like I have the logical thing of getting married and having kids, but it looks like I don't really have many goals to help anyone.  I have never had a job and God please help me get a job.  I really don't know what I can do and what I am made for  - I really don't know what I am good at for helping other people.  I really don't know and it seems like I don't seem to care anyway.

Somedays I really don't like my life - it looks like nothing seems to go right.  I have been feeling doom and gloom. I really don't know what I can do for someone else, for a job.  I don't really know what I am skilled at.  I can play music and stuff but I don't really have that many professsional things I can do.  I am not the most grown up person and I feel like I am not ready to do certain things. I am ready but I am not ready.

There is a lot of things I regret - it seems like I am in a mess and it seems like I have been cursed.  I don't think I really did much of anything for anyone else.

THAT MIGHT BE THE PROBLEM

It seems like  I need a function, a goal!  Not everyone is going to give something to me - I think I might need to do something for someone else and I don't know what!