There has been a lot of stress in my life in general. Although, things have been going smoothly, now I am going to have some real stress. I think things have been going so smoothly that I need stress. I need responsibility and I need some times for me to grow up. There has been times when I have nothing to do, so I whine about how bored I am, or try to rehash some thing that was going about 5 or 6 years ago that was so "threatening". A lot of it is just social things that I need to learn and a lot of it is the typical things that you learn about in high school.
A lot of stuff that is happening in high school is that I am fooling around with relationships. I am liking some girl but some girl is taken by a guy that seems to be more popular and "cooler" than me. I seem to want to go after girls that seem to be more "hotter" and "popular" than me than to make myself look a little bit more hotter and popular, but it seems like it is not working out. It looks like I am going after girls that seem to be simply a blonde or something, without knowing the true personality or the interests of the person. She might be more interested in sports while I am not an athlete and it seems like she'll be going after other athletes just to have something in common.
I am going to learn about the true nature of my social world and I am starting to learn about how the business world is working as well. There is a lot of change going on.
I am spending some time in the apartment alone and I am doing very well over the weekend. I was afraid I am going to be bored but it seems to be better than I think. It is very quiet and I don't have to worry about a flood, and my parents had given me a lot of emergency money just in case I am not coming back.
The biggest stress is the idea who I am going to room with and what is it going to be like. I am thinking about what is going to happen next year. My landlord had decided that I should share a room with someone, which I think it is going to be a lot harder to handle. I am used to sleeping alone and I tend to be messy, and I tend to be quirky as well at night when I am not medicated, so I am thinking about being in a one bedroom. But moving is a lot of stress but I think it might be less stressful if I have a roommate that has something in common with me. I have been roomming with people that I don't have much in common with and I tend to have a personality that seems to don't clash with a lot of people. I think the personality might be something about not having the best social skills and I am learning some social psychology right now to understand what people are pulling, and I might be a lot better in my social world.
I think I will be a little bit easier to room with when I tend to conform and be interested in other people; I know some of the stuff might be boring but I need to be having a more open mind and be interested, along with go along with people to show that I want to be their friend. I think the conformity might help me find it easier to room with people and trying to obey a little bit better to what they want. I tend to be quirky but I think it might be good for me to shape up and stop my quirks. But I do need to have an independent bedroom but conformity might be something that might help me fit in. It depends if I agree with the people or not - a lot of people might not be similar to me and I might not be interested in the other people.
I am sort of shy and I tend to be in my own world. I am probably not interested in a lot of other kids and I tend to be old fashioned - but I think I need to get with other kids and start being more "with it" and not as "out of touch". A lot of them these days tend to play video games and I don't play video games too often, but there are a lot of kids that use the internet these days such as YouTube. My family does not hunt and fish, or hang out by the lake as the other people - we are a different culture and tend to be more interested in other things.
This culture shock might be harder to find people that are like me and seem to agree with me. A lot of the people that are interested in me might be a little bit older, but I have been exposed to classes with older people.
The roommate situation might be complicated but when I seem to clean up, keep the quirks down, and try to blend in, I might be fine. I do like the individualism but really I need to do some comformity as well to try to be part of the group, even when I am just a wannabe.
I am also going to be learning about other people and what makes them tick, and I am going to be learning a lot about business related classes. The better educated ; the better I am going to be.
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