It looks like my values had changed throughout the years and it will change in the future, so lets look a what do I value now and what did I value back then?
It seems like I am always looking back at being a teenager - it seems like there is something I regretted about being a teenager that I want to do over, but if I think back, did I do what did I wanted to do as a teenager.
My teenage life was pretty tough - everyones teenage life is tough but I don't think I had it as bad as the other kids. It look like a lot of kids were in divorce families and in crisis situations, but I didn't really have to deal with that. But it seems like I was your normal teenager - I was valuing fitting in and I was trying to find myself.
My parents had strict rules on what I should be as a teenager, but I was experimenting with certain roles and I can see this with genres of music. It looks like I wanted to fit in like everyone else and I think I was valuing popularity and friendship, but it looks like I was getting with the wrong crowd and they seemed to booted me out. Then it seemed like I was starting to become depressed, so I was going to go with a different crowd, but it looks like I was realizing I did not fit in neither crowd. It seems like I liked that crowd but I don't think I was interested in those values. I was in a big mess and that summer, my parents had decided for me to have a clothes burning and make me pretty neutral without experimenting with certain outfits and I think I had the best respect.
One thing is I didn't really have that much money and another thing, my parents were very strict. Of course it is the law that you can't be involved with drugs and alcohol, but teenagers do it anyway. I didn't really have an idea of who I was and I still don't really have an idea of who I am either.
I am still figuring out my idenity and it looks like things are starting to get figured out. It looks like I have pretty conservative beliefs so I might as well stick with the conservative beliefs. It looks like believe in traditional family values, true friendships, getting a job, not being involved with drugs or anything like that. To being a teenager, I sound kind of boring but in the adult world I sound like I am respected. I should be known for what I do than what I believe in. Maybe trying to experiment around with beliefs are not worth the hassle and it will get you in trouble - it looks like I rather go down the right path instead of trying to go through the wrong path.
It seems like my beliefs are ironed out and eventually I will like to get married and have kids. But I need to have a job first and that will be my major goal in the next few years - getting started in the career world and living independently. But I need to work on relationships outside of my family - especially romantic relationships. It looks like I was always looking for a girfriend but it seems like I was going after girls that could care less about me or don't even know me. It seems like I need to find a girl that I can get along with pretty well and I can talk to pretty well, along with have the same values, interests, and background. It it looks like I am exploring my sexuality as well and to find out what I am attracted to, and what feels good and not feels good.
The world has a lot of choices and there is a lot too learn about the world around me. It looks like I am worried about finding love and finding someone that will appreciate me, but I won't find love unless I am screwed on.
There are a lot of girls to choose from and there are a lot of choices to make, but I hope I will find one. The same thing is going to be with career. I need to get some work experience and then I think I should try to find my niche. A job will be good and it will open up my doors to me, and I will become a more well developed individual.
Some day I am going to get things figued out and Lord I hope I do.
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