It looks like that one of my goals is independence and it seems like I am getting closer and closer to independence, but it needs work. It looks like the driving situation has been finally figured out and I can finally drive anywhere. I had been driving since 2009, but it seems like there has been many delays, such as medications and the stress of the roommates. A lot has changed of me in the last 3 years of my life as a major, but I have a lot of growing up to do as well.
Now it looks like I am back into a mode where I am going to be learning things for a practical job and this time around I might be ready for the real world. I was originally planning on going into the computer careers in the first place, but I realized that I needed to take a break and have some time to grow up and find myself, which I haven't really had a chance to do in high school.
It looks like high school was not that bad either and there has been many good times. It looks like the good times had outweighed the bad and there has been a lot of growing up experiences. I was not involved with drugs, sex, or anything like that, but it looks like I was wanting to fit in like everyone else, and I did fit in like everyone else.
College was another time to find out who I am and I was getting a pretty defined view of the world, and of what I am good at, and what role I should play in this world.
Now I am going through the next stage - I am going to finally get some practical education for a job. I am going into Organizational Behavior and I am finally going to learn some practical skills that are needed for employment. No more fluffy or finding yourself work; now I am ready for adult education and the next thing - I need to find my first job.
I haven't really dated or had a job yet, which is the 2 things that are missing. I think there might be a lot of people not having a job or not dating. I talked to the counselor and it looks like I haven't really had a job because I had not have any work experience in the recent years - I was sort of a slacker. My counselor had suggested that I need to do volunteer work to show that I want to do a job and I understand what work is - to use my skills and abilities to help others. I am going to have a function, I am going to have a role. I am like a computer that needs to be programmed.
The adult world is based on two things - love and work and it looks like I am looking for love and work. It looks like I have a hard time finding relationships and finding a job because I need to be known. People need to know me for who I am truly am and what I could do. I don't think I shown the world what I like. I think I need to open my mouth a little bit and show the world what I got; I think I need to be more assertive and start to express myself more as an individual. I should prove the world that I am not going to be an scum that is living with my parents that don't know where he is going and whining about how his life sucks, and how high school sucks, and not looking forward for anything for the future.
Volunteering will get my used to the work world. I will know what it feels like to work and it will show that I am willing to help other people who are in need. It looks like I am a whiner that wants everything given to me - it's ain't going to happen.
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