It is my choice

It looks like it is going to be my choice.  For all these years, it looks like I have been padding around a routine - go to school in the fall and have the summers off.  Go to school for five days a week and have the weekends off, then repeat.  But this  era is going to end and it is going to be time for me to choose my own schedule - actually my life is going to be in my hands and the decisions I make are going to be through my own and Gods destiny.  Starting about this summer, I am going to be transferring into a new routine.  I am going to school on the evening and the rest - I need to think of what I am going to be doing for the rest.

Society is expecting me to get a job because that is the only way I am going to survive independently and my parents are getting sick and tired of padding me.  I am going to be 21 for crying out loud - old enough to drink and to get married/have a family for crying out loud.  I haven't really have any true relationships in my life and I haven't really had a job in my life, but God please help me find both.

It looks like I am going down a family path - I am the traditional, old school have kids and get married, and it might be a good idea for me to jump into the workforce if I want to start that goal.  I am very picky about where I work because I have that belief that I might stay there for a long time, but in this economic times, finding my first job without any experience is going to be a problem.

But this is going to give me a reality check about the world around me - I need to stop acting like a kid and to make my own decisions myself along with sharpen my claws just like the cat.  It looks like there might be many flaws that I need to work on to get employed and to be respectable in society, along with have romantic relationships.  The first thing is I got the ADHD ironed out and I got the driving situation ironed out, along with education, so there is no excuse.  Now it is time for me to figure out the more softer skills in life such as improve my handwriting, my presentation, typing skills, and not be as self centered and self -conscious, along with be more assertive. Each time I get slammmed for a job or date opportunity, it is a time to improve myself. I need to be less picky about a job and to not have McDonalds on the brain.  I need to be more scientific about what I can do and what I can't do, and really evaluate what I want to do.  I seem to be self centered and it looks like I want the suit and the paycheck without the desire to contribute and help out.  I am probably self centered and would like to gloat on Facebook as "see see I got a job too" and a "cool job" even with the tough economy without giving a thought about doing a good job.  I would like a job on paper but not actually do the work.

I am probably not going to like my first job - who does like their first job and there is going to be a lot of problems but it is WORK what do you expect.  But eventually I am going to work my way out of the bottom of the barrell and do the more prestigous job that gets more money - it seems like I am a little bit impatient but I am pulling the popularity thing too much - in the real world, popularity doesn't matter as much - it is  money and success that truly matter - that is what popularity is.  And usually the popular people in society are gossiped about and made fun of.

So it is my choice - if I want to sail away through the doldrums or I should get off my butt and move on with life - it looks like I have hit a reality check.  I am now in the world and the world is not fair - it is time for me to get off my butt even though I have a tendency to be lazy.