It looks like I have changed a lot in the last 6 months and there has been a lot of self improvement. About 6 months ago, I was still not having a good idea what I want to do for college and there has seem to be seem kinks to be ironed out. I was still living on TV dinners and homemade packages through the microwave, and I was still "carted" back and fortth through college. But after about 6 months, I am cooking my own meals, driving on my own, and going shopping for my own food. I think there has been a great awakening in the last 6 months or it might be something like this.
For most of my life, I have been in a fog, which had diminished my ability to do a lot of things. It seems like it was hard for me to function because of this fog. But it looks like the fog is gone and I am starting to learn things at a very rapid rate. Or it might be the myleanation process that is happening with the brain; I have been learning stuff but now I am starting to recall things.
I am learning about ADHD in school and in my pleasurely reading. It looks like with ADHD, your neurons cannot connect and things are just tangling up, creating a fog. It looks like things are also in a lower power state, and I need to do things to stimulate the part of the brain in that low power state. But now the brain has turned on and it is just like everyone else, and it seems like someone just turned on a light or put glasses on me. I have been doing many things to stimulate and that might explain some of the jitteriness and the twitching, along with the chatter and looking up random things on the internet.
I also did not have the best control of my emotions but now I got the higher function of the brain working to help me control my emotion. I seem to go gaga over a girl but now I am a little more calmer, more realistic, and more selective with women.
That might explain why I couldn't drive for long distances because driving requires sustained focus and I did not have the sustained focus. Now I did have the sustained focus.
It might be the more natural part of growing up and I have been learning about the world around me. It seems like the driving situation and getting jobs situation has taught me about the world around me. The next step is finding employment and that might complete my transition of almost living independently. There is going to be a lot to learn when I get a job, and I am going to start getting a whole lease on life. It is just like a preschooler finding out he can do it myself and I am going to show the world that I can do things myself.
Romantic relationships are going to come as well, but I think I need money and proximity. I seem to be someone to keep to myself and I value family more than friendship, but it seems like I need to get out of my nest and start finding my own friends which I am doing a very good job with. It is hard to really get to know anyone in college and everyone has their own goals and aspirations, but it seems like I am starting to get people that support me and respect me.
I tend to keep to myself because I have a lot to think about but I am not a recluse or a loner. I tend to be more independent and sometimes I need more time to think. I am your more family orientated person but I think there should be a balance between family and friends. It seems like that family has been a lot more important to me in high school, and there has been a lot more family issues with me than the peer group, which did not give me enough time to get to know people outside of the classroom.
But I can't suck on to mom or dad too much - I need to start developing myself as an individual and it is a hard time getting out of my parents nest.
Dating and relationships are going to be a snap for me if I cut down being in my own world and try to think about someone else. A job will definitively help me with that. It seems like I am in my own world, and that is fine, but I have been so used to it because of the ADHD fog that I need to start being like a more focused person and become more interested in other people besides myself and my immediate family. That may gaurentee more better dating and relationships, etc.
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