2 years ago

I am looking back the way I was the summer before I entered college.  It was a cool summer, but I was a different guy.  I think I was a better guy.  I had undiagnosed ADD, but for the most part I was ready for college.  I wasn't  as worried about the college life but I was a lot more excited about the college life. I was optimistic about the future and I just got my drivers license - I just wanted to have a little bit of fun.

That summer I was doing a lot of fun things - I went uptown a lot and I went to McDonalds every time I turned around.  I rented a lot of movies and things were not that bad.  But it all changed when I went to college, and I had some obnoxious roommates.  The college experience grew me up, but it made me a more mature, better person.

There might of been a reason why about 2 years ago that I was very close to having a girlfriend.  I can easily go back to this mode.  I was more of this laid back guy who seemed to live each day as it comes and just went along with the crowd.  That was the time when I was watching Family Guy a lot and I was just going along with the mainstream YouTube stuff like Shane Dawson, etc.  It was probably the heyday of my teen life and I'll probably go back to it when I make up my mind to be that way.

But better yet, I am more educated, but I have gotten a little too weird.  I was isolating myself in my bedroom in my apartment too much and I wasn't going uptown and doing the normal stuff such as going to movies and McDonalds.  When I keep going to movies and McDonalds by myself, I will become a saner, more sociable, cooler, and probably more datable guy.

I am also medicated, but I shouldn't become Mr. Stick in the Mud.  I should go about my business and bring back the good ol days about 2 years ago.  The heyday isn't over; it is just starting and I think there are fun times to come when I make up my mind to it.

One of the reasons why the heyday sort of ended was after my grandma died, I was going through a period of depression and despair.  I know it was tough to have my grandma die, and I was very close to grandma, but  it is time to move on.  The death of grandma was probably a symbolic end of my youthfulness, etc.  It marked an end of an era, just like when my grandpa died in 2007.  I changed after my grandpa died in 2007, and I changed again in 2010 or so when my grandma died.  But I think I am going to go another major change when my grandpa dies in the near future and my other grandma is on the way out with severe Alzheimers. 

But eventually I am going to snap out of it and go back to the more, fun, lighthearted days of 2009.  I was probably more screwed on and I was more likely to get a date.  I was very close to having a girlfriend that year and I think I'll probably may have a chance this year when I put my mind to it.