It looks like I am finally getting somewhere and I am finally going somewhere. Starting tomorrow, I am going to be entering the second phase of my college life which I think is going to be a lot better than my first phase.
The first phase, as I said many times, was a very tough phase and it seems like there was a lot of growing up. A lot has changed from the first phase to the second phase. The first phase was a time of adjustment and confusion, and it seems to be a lot to learn. I learned a lot about my world around me; a lot better than I had it in high school and it seemed like I have many ideas on the world that I never had before. It looks like I wasn't really that defined in high school; it was there but it seems like it didn't connect but now it seems like I have a very broad view of the world around me and I am starting to find my niche.
It looks like I am having a hard time finding a job, but I am working hard on finding a job but this process is growing me up a lot and helping me have an hands on understanding of the world around me. I am starting to learn about reality and how the economy works, and how the world is full of competition, and you have to put your best foot forward. This recession is helping me and other people realize it is not cool to dress and act like a slob, and you need to have your best foot forward.
It seems like I need to work on developing my personality. I have noticed that a lot of the students in the college seems to have more personality and seem to have a date and a job more than me. I seem to be this kind of quiet person that seem to be not much personality, and I need to express it more often. It might be time to develop a personaliiy and bring back that hidden personality. I know it is in there but it hasn't come out.
I think it might have to do with nutrition - it seems like I am not eating that good in college and maybe more food might help bring back the personality. I might have a lot more self-confidence when I have better food when I know I feel better. It seems like I have been living on a diet of only the basic you have to survive - not much veggies or anything like that, but I have been drinking juice. It might be a lack of magnesium and it seems like I am not liking foods that contain magnesium, which are leafy green vegtables. Who like this stuff anyway?
It seems like people like people who have a personality - everyone has a unique personality and it looks like I am not showing it too much. They want to know you and you, and not some cliche or stereotype. I might be trying too hard as well.
It looks like I used to have more personality in high school and it seems like it was starting to slip away in college. I think it is the nutrition and I think it is going to come back in college. I have taken the magnesium and the youth is starting to come back - I am not this stodgy guy anymore. A lot of college students have fun and they have personality; they want to have that youthful personality. They got all their life to be old and stodgy - it looks like I am pretty conservative, but I don't have to be pain in the butt conservative. It seems like the liberals are the ones that don't have that much personality.
It is about time for me to develop a good personality - it seems like people with personality seem to like other people with personality. My roommates even have a better personality than me - I am kind of this blah person and there are not that many blah people and it seems like the only people that attract me are these blah type people.
It is time for me to have more fun - being older does not me I have to be some type of serious guy - I need to start to loosen up. It has been about 3 years when I had this blah personality - maybe about 2 years - I was some guy who was overly tense and whiny, and thinks too much. I have been told that I am very factual and that is good, but I need to quit overanalyzing things. It seems like I am analyzing things to figure things out but it looks like that many things don't need to be analyzed.
I probably don't know what to write about when I have a personality but I will write about different things than a teen-college angst diary - maybe the other people understand that everyone goes through these things.
A lack of personality is probably keeping me from getting somewhere - people want a fun person, not one of these stodgy people that seem to analyze everything. I seem to be smart but I am not really that smart - it looks like I am just learning new concepts that other people seem to get - it looks like a confusion and things that seem to be simple seem to be complex to me.
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