A different world indeed

It seems like I am in a different world indeed.  It looks like I am in a world where there are a lack of peers and it seems like there are people of all ages.  That sounds like a major form of adjustment for me.

I have experienced that feeling before when I was starting college.  It was a strange feeling.  Having people that were in their 30s and 40s in the classroom made me think about things; it doesn't really matter to fit in.  I have a different philosophy in life - it looks like nobody cares anymore.  Everyone minds their own business and is going in their own path - in high school and part of college, almost everyone is going in their own path.  It looks like there is a sense of independence.  I was used to the group and fitting in, but it looks like when I get out of there, nobody cares.

It feels strange to have adults in the classroom.  It looks like they are totally interested in different things than the things you are interested in high school.  I hear more conversations about things such as kids and job, instead of other things such as what band sounds cool or what concert you are going to, or what parties you have gone to, or if this girl is hot/or that girl is hot.  They are treating their conversation about the workplace.  It looks like they have nothing to rebel about or nothing to make a statement about because they can legally do these things, which gets rid of the novelty.  You don't have parents telling you you can't do things.

It also feels weird  to have people older than me being friendly to me and having conversations with me online - a lot of them are relatives but it looks like the peer group is getting less and less.

The peer group is really important with me but some of the things in the peer group are probably not cool or probably something that I don't want to get involved with.  It looks like there are a lot of decision to be made, but I am still not used to the "stodgy adult world" of having kids, buying homes, paying bills, all these things.  I don't really have that responsibility yet. I want to have this responsibility and I don't want to have this responsibility.

It looks like there is going to be a lot of change and it looks like there is going to have a lot to learn.  The transition from the high school/college world to the real world is going to be a tough adjustment for me, but I think I should make it gradual.

It think it is time for me to find more people my age to hang out with or try to accept it I'm in the adult world.  When I am starting to feel like a pedophile while hanging around with a bunch of high school students, it's time to grow up.  The people that I am going to high school with are transitioning into the adult world - some are even getting married.  But it looks like I am not at that level yet.  It looks like I haven't gotten a job and I haven't really experienced many real world responsibilities such as paying bills.  I am starting to learn how to get groceries on my own along with try to keep my apartment clean.  I am improving.  I am also trying to get out a little bit - it looks like I have to actually iniate myself to create a social life - it is not going to be spoonfeed to me.  It looks like it is rather find people that are my age to date and a lot of the younger people are in high school or going to different universities.

There are a lot of things I want to do but there is a lot of growing up to do.

There is a definitive generation gap and it seems like I am still treated like the children, even if I am 21.  I don't really care for these older people - I don't seem to ge them.  I might as well have to find people that get me or wait a bit.