It looks like I am finally over with the excitement of going with a new college - actually it is the same college but it is a different lifestyle and I am finally getting into the grind. And I am starting to have a relief. It seems like the classes I am taking are helping a lot and I am learning about my world around me.
Social psychology is the class that seems to be the answers of all my problems - I am learning that I can't really analyze myself and decipher my behavior. Writing is a great way of expressing myself, but I am only expressing my emotion and it seems like I am not expressing the cause of my behavior. It looks like a lot of the things that I am doing is unconscious and I am trying to decipher myself from the unconscious or subconscious - I don't think it can happen. Writing about my inner thoughts might be a way to express myself but it looks like I am not getting anywhere.
It seems like I am learning some of my flaws and some of the flaws of other people. It looks like I am making a big deal out of myself - I should cool it a bit and not make too much of a scene. I am also trying to find out things that I don't truly remember so I should forget about it - there might be some things that are going to trigger my memories and I should look back at some things that I was exposed to, such as music or TV commercials or certain foods. I can get a pretty accurate perception of my high school life by just looking at some of the music I was listening to or the TV I was watching - that is definetely going to trigger some memories and they are probably more accurate memories than actually trying to decipher everything.
I have been learning a lot and I am learning some more - these classes might be the best classes I have ever taken and I am going to grow up. I haven't really looked at the details of what's going on and I am going to find out what is truly going on, and I can see what my problem, or imaginery problem might be.
I seem to be analyzing myself too much since I probably don't know - I am like a teenager that writes in a diary all the time but there are things that are in my face that I probably not going to figure out. It looks like I seem to think very internally than externally - I am not thinking about the outside world and more in my own world - I need to get out in the outside world and to see what is going on. The inside world is just emotion and perception, and my perception is probably not that good.
Psychology is one of these topics I seem to be interested in - it seems like I want to know what makes humans tick - then I can help some of these other humans. The books I am reading are starting to show some of the flaws. I am also taking classes to see some of the flaws in society and in the world of business in a different view. It seems like I am having a view that I have never been told before in school - it is always a wishy washy view.
I always notice that my problems are solved when I am in a Wal Mart - I am seeing everything and I am being exposed. It looks like when I am not exposed to anything, I am going to think more and more internally. I am in a college dorm where all I have is access to the internet and it seems like I am not exposing myself too well on the web - I can pick whatever I want. I am thinking too internally and not externally. There are a lot of people that do think internally and it seems like I am not seeing the big picture of what's going on.
I was also in a brain fog and it seems like everything is distorted - it looks like there is a problem with perception and it looks like now I need to see the outside world. If I want to see my high school or teen life, I should expose myself to something to reminds me of my high school life. I should listen to some music and see what triggers, or look at the TV. I haven't really watched that much TV in high school but I listened to a lot of music. It looks like the music I am listening to or some of the activities I have been doing, and even the food I am eating can trigger memories of my teen life. That's why people like nostalgia - they can trigger some positive memories.
I can expose myself to the world in the 2000s decade and I can probably trigger some memories. Some positive memories can come out and some negative memories could come out. I can change my mood and the mood of the music could create a reminder. I should give this a try - listen to some music and see what pops in my mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment