What really happened in high school?

High  school is a tough time for a lot of kids, and I have now figured out what really happened in high school.   For most of elememtary school, the kids in my class were pretty "square" and I didn't think these kids were that bad.  But about 7th grade, the kids started watching movies and watching MTV and they were exposed to the dominate youth culture at that time - rap music.  I probably deep down thought these guys were idiots and they were stupid, so I was destined to fit in and be cool so I basically starting acting the way the TV act me.

My parents had a thing against MTV at that time because of the crappy music and she censored my MTV viewing.  She did not want me exposed to the rap culture because she knew these guys were black and they were sleazy and will get you into trouble.  I gradually rebelled from my parents, but I did not get the details because of my parents censorship.

I gradually starting sneaking in "ghettoish clothing, slang, etc." and certain people were sucking up to me in school.  By about 10th grade, things were getting a little bit too far and my parents had decided to give me a "clothes burning" and have me dress in a more conservative fashion.  My parents were also trying to get me to get exposed to other styles of music such as rock or country, but I just reverted back to rap music because I was destined to fit in and it was topping the charts.

I also wanted to try rapping on my own and I was pretty good, and kids did appreciate it for me, but I did not live the street rap to be a true rapper so I might as well give it up and become a singer.

When I got into college, I got the real street life and I realized it was not that great, and what my parents were preaching at me were right.  They were smoking weed and stole my shit, and even threatning to beat up people in my town, which is very scary stuff.  I have realized this rap stuff is not cool so I quit listening to it.

Now I was starting to reform myself and I was starting to find out who I am, and try on different idenities, but after being educated I decided to go a more conservative route just like my roots.  I probably would of stayed pretty square and conservative if rap music was not that popular at the time, but it was everywhere and I was gullible.  I still do appreciate rap music and R&B music, but I learn I am not going to act like that and I am white, but I might as well try on different styles of music on for size such as country or rock.

But deep down when I was not pressured by peers and the medias to act a certain way, I was starting to listen to the clean music that I am truly like and this is when the true person came out.  When I was not putting on my ghetto persona, I put on my pop music that my parents approved of such as Aly & AJ and Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, etc and the cleaner music that was on the top 40.  There was not many clean cut shows for me on TV, except of the stuff that was on the childrens channels such as Disney or Nickelodeon, but I thought this stuff was for children and not for teenagers, even though the actors involved teenagers and had teenage values and plots in it.

High school was not a bad time and it had it's fun moments and the things I was going through was pretty normal.   I am still trying to get screwed on but I was getting there.

I just wanted to fit in just like your normal teenager and be cool.  Teenagers love to be cool but I did not get involve with drugs or anything like that, and I don't think I want to.  It was a tough time because it was a generation gap and really I was a poser just like Justin Beiber.