It seems like I have been in the school lifestyle for a long time and I haven't really had a lifestyle outside of the classroom or outside of school. I am trying to get into the work world, but with the economy it has been a lot harder to enter the work world.
My schedule now has been dominated by school since I am a full time student - school has become my job but eventually I am going to change the routine starting about later this year, near June or the summer.
I am going to work very vigorously to get into the work world and getting into the work world is going to be a full time job. I am going to be 21 for crying out loud, I am almost old enough to drink and it is time for me to get into the world. This will transition me from the teen world to the young adult world, which I should of been entered a couple of years ago. I seem to be like about a 16 or 17 year old right now because of the lack of employment. I can live in the apartments, but I can't financial support myself on the apartments on my own and do adult responsibilities such as paying bills that even my roommates are doing. It seems to be the adult world is not as interesting to me as I think it is because of a lack of experience.
I do have ideas of what I want to do in the future and I do have an idea of what my path. It seems like I want to have a few years of fooling around and getting used to the adult world, and then I am ready to get settled,get married, and start having kids. There are some of my classmates that are having children already but I doubt they are ready to have kids and they are having their parents support them or welfare.
But I am going to be smart and wait a few years for adjustment. I haven't even dated or had a steady relationship in my life so I should go through a few steady relationships before I get married. But you never know; I might just find the right one right away and it could be that person working at the first ever job I have and bang, it'll be happily ever after.
I think I do need some time to play catch up ball because of the delay in development because of ADHD. With ADHD and related disorders, you are developmentally more behind that normal people and now I am medicated, it is time for me to catch up to my age of develop. I might be ready for relationships and such. You can see when the medicine wears out, the blog posts start to drop from being a more aware of the world outside and my views of the world outside me in a more adult, real world critical thinking context to a more self centered diary of teen angst. But sometimes, with even new experiences, it is nice to think about what life might be like. I can see when I am thinking more maturely, the real world is more interesting and other people are more interesting than myself, because I know everything about myself. But when it wears out, it is back to finding myself.
The job world is going to be a different world but once I get a hang of it - I'll like it. I am going to be going to school about 2 days a week and the other 2 days will be for getting dough, and then I can go home during the weekend and do whatever I want. But when I get a job, I am going to try to apply the skills I learn in school and when I get money, I can do the stuff I want during the weekend such as write music and such. I have a feeling when I do get a job, I'll probably start having my coworkers as family and I even would even consider have my first relationships with them. I am probably too clean cut and family oriented to meet girls out in the club and do this twenty-something Gen Y junk. I am a Gen Zer don't you know.
I am probably going to have a jolt of self esteem and all my wishes and desires might come through.
Most likely when I am done with my schooling, I would not switch jobs that much and I'll probably stay in the same place if I am happy. I will just climb the career ladder, even working at a fast food restaurant or whereever I apply for and accept that's my job. I might be satisfied with my idenity and don't care - I might not be as career centric as I think I am and it looks like I value the relationships than the career. Work is work - work is not your life - it is what you do outside of work is your life and I am more traditional work to support the family, get married, have kids type of person - very logical and very easy. But it seems like the relationships is what is important to me and if I get along very good and it seems like there is a lack of structure at school and at work - that is why I might be studying this stuff.
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