Life is tough

Life can be very tough and it is not fair.  It looks like I am not getting some of the things that I want, but I think I should realize it, maybe there is a reason for me to not get the things I want at this current time.  There are some things I should be doing and some things that I wish to be doing.

It looks like that each day does have a purpose in it - even the most small things and each day has a purpose that meets a larger plan.  The summer that I was always talking about - the summer of 2013 may seem like a day to day monotony, but there might be a reason in the future for me to have that summer.  That summer I was starting to have a view of the world - I was finally dumped out in the world and as the summer progressed, the more I got a feeling of fear and depression.  I was starting to realize what the world is like - it is a pretty lonely place but it is not a very lonely place.

The summer was an interruptions - it looks like every summer is some sort of interruption but this summer is an interruption.   I ended the summer and started the year in a very lonely sense, but I have to make up my mind what my life is going to be like.  I am in control of my own life.  A few weeks at the beginning of the year, I sat around and thought about how lonely it is just to sit in my apartment and then I realized I needed to get out.  Now I got out and I was having the time of my life.  I have been having this fantasy life but reality is starting to set in - I need to concentrate on what is truly important.

My priorities have been messed up - I have been prioritizing the fun things without realizing that I need to buckle down and think about the future.  I have been having trouble accepting that people are people, no matter the age.  The students in the classroom are older and they have more experience than your average college students and it is more of a realistic simulation of what the world is.  It looks like I have been having trouble accepting that I am member of the community just like anyone else.  Right now I have the ability to do whatever I want as long as it follows the law - my life is in my own hands and I am going to be treated like a respectable citizen like anyone else.  People are starting to respect me now - I am not just a little pip squeak anymore; people will actually start to believe me and they would like to hear my ideas.  My ideas may be helpful to contribute to society to make society a better place.  I have a role in society and I am trying to figure out what I should do - I am able to be a respected member of the community and is expected to be a respected member of the community.

I do have a hard time accepting this fact that I am starting to age and starting to become older, but life has just begun.  Pretty soon people are going to start thinking I am immature and weird - accepting my age as time presses on.  Of course, I am trying to make up something while other people expect me to outgrow this lifestyle. I am eventually going to get through this.  I know  I am starting to get higher expectations and the expectations are going to be tougher and tougher.  At least I have a challenge and I have something to work for.  I have been having my head up my butt and I have been having my head up my butt for a long time, and it is time to get it out of my butt.'

I have been having a jolt in my life and there has been a major transition a change.  I have been used to be living in a controlled life but now I got more freedom and I don't know what to do.  This freedom causes confusion, but eventually I will get used to it and love it.