I had never had a girlfriend (at least until now, you never know in the future) and I think many guys never had relationships before. It has been hard since I was very busy all these years and I didn't have time for a relationship to spring up. Usually kids in sports and other activities in high school don't really get girlfriends; most kids who get girlfriends are the ones who simply have a part time job. A lot of time, they find their dates through work or through church, or someone in the neighborhood. Or it might be some real good friend of the opposite sex they have known for a long time since elementary school or someone that sat next to in class or had lockers with for a long time. But if you are in a sport, it is usually someone who is in a sport just like you that share the same "jock" interests.
College is not much different, but it may be a little easier to find dates if you have a part time job. You need money to pay for dates and girls actually like guys that make their own dough; this is a sign of prestige in today's economic conditions if you actually have a job and a good paying job. That is a chick getter. The apartment/dorm is also a good place to find girlfriends because of proximity. I doubt that a lot of people in college find their dates just in class, since they are in their to learn. You need to spend a lot of time outside of the classroom to get to know someone, probably a job or something. I think most people find their mates through work or church, or someone who lives close by. The girl next door thing is the easiest to get to know somebody - they are just next door.
But I think most of the time it is this. Car+Job=Girlfriend. You need to drive to take her on dates and you need a job to pay for dates.
Here is my problem. I don't want to be whiny but I think I need to get my motives straight. I am not finding girls the right way. I am finding girls more to make a statement, not for the actual pleasure of finding a girlfriend and girls are turned off by that. Most of the time, real relationships come out of the blue when you are relaxed and doing your own thing. What I should do is focus more on friendship on both sexes - a good relationship starts out as a good friend. I should just make friends. That will ease the stress of finding a girlfriend by just putting a space between that word - really that's what it is; a friend that is a girl. I don't have to worry if she is taken or not; just have a friend. The girlfriends out there are just good friends that one day that you just fall in love with. I should STOP focusing on if she looks HOT or more on if she will make a good friend. I am starting to make some new friends in the apartment - that is good. I should keep doing that on campus. The stress will be eased a lot if I just look just for friendship and see what happens. That's why you have the dorkiest looking couples some day - they are more focused on friendship than if she is hot.
Thinking a girl is hot is just going to cause you to have more stress because of the hormones that are released through the body. I should control these hormones and let them come out when I got to know the person some time. If I am focus on friendship, the hormones of real relationships will come out, then a real relationship with actual bonding will come out. The best ones are the ones that have been good friends - I mean real good friends.
If I focus more on friendships, I don't have to be over focused on having the fantasy TV blonde on my shoulder. I wouldn't care if I have someone who is more plain Jane - even a girl with mousy brown hair or a more mediocre looking blonde. I should look past the appearance and focus more on the friendships. The TV blonde might be a bitch. Most of them are not the nicest because they have an attitude because they look hot.
So what I should do is just be friendly to EVERYONE when I want to be friendly. Look friendly, act friendly. I know I am busy but I should at least smile. Or when I am busy, I should look friendly.
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