Thursday, October 27, 2011

I am starting to feel like I am not the brighest bulb around

I think this is starting to hit me.  I am going under a lot of stress with pretty much everything, and I think I am might be finding the source.  I don't think I am that smart of a person.  I barely squeaked by in the Accuplacer and I am struggling with a lot of my classes.  It looks like the classes I took in high school were easy and didn't require much brains, and since I was trying to get my grades up, I struggle to get them up.  I don't want t patronize, but I am feeling like I am not the brighest bulb out there and I might have to adapt to it.

Some things I am pretty bright at, such as music, but I am no genius at music.  I can play music pretty good and I do have a pretty good ear.  I might be very good with children or something that requires not the most brains./  I tried taking the "brainer" classes in college, such as history and even biology, and I am not getting the best grades. I like playing with my cat and I might be good with animals.  Somethings I excel very well with such as this family class, but I think it is a pretty easy, fun, and interesting class.  I struggle with the tests and I struggle with the reading.  Logic I am just dumb with and I know I don't have that much logic.  I want to get a good job, a life, whatever, but I feel like I might not be the brightest person.  But I am going to get through this.  Lord, help me!  God, help me!  Please do something!  You  had planned me to be on this planet for something but I don't know what.

Right now I am going through a lot of stress.  I have problems in the apartment with doing basic tasks such as cleaning and washing dishes.  I can barely cook and I don't think I can live on McDonalds all my life.  I am getting nagged by my roommates to shut the door, flush the toilet, etc.  I have been struggling with this for years.  I might blame it on ADHD or I might just blame it on not being that bright.

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