In the last few years, I have encountered a lot of experiences, both good and bad, and I am starting to find out what my niche in life is - what God has made me to do. College was a roller coaster ride and it has it good memories, and it also had its bad memories, and you had some times that were downright boring. The beginning of college was a time of crisis and emotional turmoil. I was in a major I did not like and I was with roommates that were not the coolest, but we had our good times too. Even though I did not like them, I had some experiences that will shape me the way I am now. One of the major events is the diagnosis of ADHD and then the change of my major to the A.A degree to figure out what I was truly good at and to catch up on the education that I have missed in high school.
The second year was a bland year, but it was a year of I was not going anywhere. I had my head up my butt and I seem kind of gullible about my world around me. But that year was a year of change. When I was 18, it was still high school in all practical purposes, but it was high school in a different light. But when I was 19, it was a time when I was learning about myself and exploring my world, and figuring out what the new me is. Now, I am 20 and the crisis is starting to end, and a new era might be coming pretty soon. I can see a peaceful era coming pretty soon and I might be very sucessful in the near future.
This year I had started to make new friends and I have been more relaxed than ever before. It seems like everything is starting to tie together into one big piece instead of a million other pieces of mess. I am starting to get a clearer picture of who I am and what God made me for, and this was based on the past experience. The past experiences I had somehow add up to something. I am supposed to be doing something and I think the start is coming pretty soon. I am joining a club to raise awareness in the school of people with ADHD and other disabilities. I have an understanding of what these people are going through and I have a feeling that they might need my wisdom to help them go through things. I have feelings that are people just like me, and they have talents and feeling too. One person is a pretty damn good artist, even though they might have a disability. I think these people need help because I can see pretty sucessful people coming out of them, they just need to have their kinks ironed out.
I seen a few with the same quirks as me and they remind me of the same things that I am going through. I feel sorry for these people, but I don't feel sorry for them either. I have a feeling they are milking their disabilities and they are not showing off their true talents. I want to see more art than idiocracy or dancing, or good hunting skills - a disability is not a sentence, but it could be things are rearranged in a different way, probably to make them shine in something else.
One thing I want to do is to be in a relationship with someone which is something that I never done before. Because of my lack of social skills and self confidence, I had never had a girlfriend for a long time. I might of had one for maybe a week or so, but I never really had a real good relationship. But someday it is going to happen and I think it is going to happen sooner than I think. I think I need to have a good confidence builder and that club might do just that. I would like to show the world that I am pretty cool just like everyone else, and I can date and do things like everything else. I have feelings you know. I think the reason why I never been in a relationship with someone for that long is the fact that I did not pick up on the social cues. I was either not choosing the right women or I have been not picking up the fact that the girl is not that interested in me as I think, and I might be a little bit too awkward. I have been trying to get to know girls, but I have been kinda stalkerish. I am also been not seeing things that clearly, and the chances of love might be higher when I am seeing things in a different light. The big thing is I have been focusing too much on more the popular girls or physical attraction than someone that is about my speed.
More on that later, but I think I should realize what is going on first before I proceed to relationships and stuff.
But now I have been feeling things are going to be different, and different in a good way. I think is time for me to spread my wisdom to the other people I feel I need help. I think I will be a good help with a lot of people since I have a lot of experience and I do have compassion for other people that are struggling just like me.
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