It has been a long journey

This year, so far, will mark my final year of college, for a long time, and it has been a long journey.  As I said before I had learned a lot and I had changed a lot.  About 2 years of this journey was a high school extension and I needed it, and now it is time for me to start buckling down on a career.

This last 4 years was a lot of growing up and traditionally I will be out in the "real world" by now and last spring would of been graduation.  But I am not done and I got about one more year to go.  Of course, this year is going to be the year that actually counts for the money so I am going to have to buckle down and study, but I have noticed it is going to be more growing up experience for me.

The last 4 years had it's ups and it's down, but there was some periods that were downright depressing, but it was actually a growing up experience.  It looks like for about 3 years I was stuck with the same people of the same type, and it looks like I had  a hard time getting out of this stigma.  This similar stigma happened during high school and it looks like I went through a similar path through high school.

But now, hopefully, I am going to snap out of this stigma for good.  I did have about one or two good years out of high school, and then I went back to the same grind; the same pattern when I was in college.

But there is going to be another year of identity formation, as always, identity keeps forming on throughout your life.  These psychology classes are helpful and I have a better understanding of people than ever before.  I changed a lot - I went from this one guy when I started college and I went from this other guy when I got out of college.  I think I actually went uphill in college where I went downhill in high school.

One day I am going to forget about my high school life and one day I am going to forget about college life just like I forgot about a lot of elementary school.  Elementary school had it's tough moments but now I just think about the good memories of elementary school.  I am going to look at high school at a different light in the future, probably about 10 years from now, and about 20 years from now I am going to look at college at a different light.

I really don't know what my future is going to be like but it is probably going to be a lot brightening than high school or college - I liked the youth but there has been a lot of problems.  I think people in the older world would be a lot nicer and considerate, and more open minded especially with dating.  Maybe one day I am going to be not as obsessed with being cool or fitting in with the crowd, or that might be always a part of me.  Maybe I have not been as obsessed as I think I was with actually being cool and fitting with the crowd; I think I am cool but I might be behind. Maybe it is time for me to give up on things from the past and once I gave up things from the past, I had fit in a lot better.

Lets say I was going along with fads about 1999-2000 around 2005, I would be considered not cool, and maybe hanging on to fads about 2005-2006 now I will be not cool.  It was a different era back then.  2005-2006 had a lot of the hip-hop and emo fad, but eventually in 2013, a lot of the hip-hop and emo fads are not cool.  Probably a good predictor of what is emerging is what is in the underground and alternative scene.  About 2004 or 2005, it looks like the "indie-hipster" look was the underground and then by 2008-2009, it has become the mainstream culture. There is probably something in the underground right now that is probably going to emerge as the mainstream trend - I don't think the coffee shop lifestyle was going to be the fad anymore in the future; the was something that was underground in the 1990s and 2000s that has been oversaturated by the media by 2010 and eventually we are getting sick and tired of it.

I probably do sound a lot more interested to listen to when I do get off myself and this is just a stream of consciousness blog - it is very therapeutic and it may solve a lot of your problems. I can see predicting what is cool might be a natural thing with me and it looks like a interest when I am pretty relaxed.  Maybe this psychobabble is going to stress me out  a lot and make me sound like I am overanalyzing myself - even this sounds like psychobabble anyway.