Thursday, May 2, 2013

The next 5 years

The  next 5 years in my life I am going to change drastically - I had grown a lot in the previous 5 years; you probably would not even known me about 5 years ago and then 5 years in the future I am going to be a different person.  I think I need to change my focus on things - I think I need to change the way I act or feel about things.  I did in the last 5 years and then I will in the future.

5 years ago I was a senior in high school - actually a junior going into a senior and I was worried about things such as going on MySpace. My parents were on my butt about getting a job and having my head screwed on, but it was the Great Recession that was causing barriers.  5 years ago things seem to be different and I seem to be a different person.  It looks like I was in "la la" land and it seems like I was enjoying the moment, regretting that I have to graduate.  I thought this high school stuff will never end.

Then about 2009 I was booted out the door and you know the story.  But it seems to be that I changed about 2010 when my grandma died.  I started to start fresh and decided I needed to move on - I wanted to start from square one with the A.A degree and decide from there because the path I was going in was going know nowhere. Then I also realized there was some problem keeping me from realizing that I need to grow up and I got that fixed - a simple ADD that is and it looks like I am a totally different person.

There is a lot of adjustments with the ADD and I am finally starting to break through these adjustments.  I was getting the driving situation out of the way and by about now, I am pretty good with driving.  I had a few accidents last year but that woke me up to become a more responsible driver.  Then I got my first job last years and I am starting to experience the world more financially.  There was a lot to figure out with driving, getting a job, and continuing my education, along with my inner self.  I am starting to realize my identity and what I am truly am, and what I believe in, and what I don't believe in.  Pretty much I got things established by about now.

But the next 5 years is going to be some major change - I need to get off my butt and start moving on.  This year I should get the education rolling and to start develop more and more independence - I think I need to fine tune myself so I will be a more self-confident and competent person. I should start to make myself as attractive and "hot" as possible - I am not some ugly little pipsqueak, I could look pretty good for the ladies.

After I am done with my education, I should try to start making some money and start living on my own.  I got my foot in the door for a job but eventually I should start a career, and then I should focus on relationships.  I know relationships are hard and is one of my biggest weakness - why can't I ever find a date.  Maybe I truly don't believe I am "hot" enough and I should start acting and looking "sexier."  No girl will like to date some whiny helpless pimped faced mamas boy - we probably have some values that make us attractive and I should try to make myself attractive. It is hard to think ahead in the future but most likely everything is going to fall into place and the only way I am going to get anywhere is to be a little more "confident" and "assertive."  It just the cold hard truth - I tried doing everything the passive way but it looks like I am not going anywhere.  Most girls want strong and sexy, not weak and whiny except for weak and whiny.

I better get moving and to start thinking I am hot or sexier - I need to become a MAN!!!!  Not a boy, a MAN!!!!

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