It's not the same

It has dawned on me - all of my grandparents are gone  and it is time for me to move on.  I got my parents and  I have no siblings, so pretty much I am on my own.  It is not going to be the same anymore.  There has been wonderful memories and seeing grandma and grandpa has been a part of my life ever since I have been born.  There has been some wonderful adventures, but the times have been a  thing of a past.

I had many good memories of grandpa when I was a child - he used to play camping in the tent with me and he used to take me out to some egg farm.  Some pretty fun times and he used to go in rides in the car with me.  But the times are different and it is not going to be the same.  Grandpa and Grandma were always someone to go for some advice and some wisdom, but these people are gone right now and it is time to move on.

One day I am going to leave - we are all going to leave and death is a natural, unavoidable process of life.  We are not going to live forever.  I started to have this thought and I was starting to contemplate about death and the afterlife, and my purpose of being here when I started college. I wanted to know my true purpose in life and what I should be doing.  There was a lot of change -a totally different way of living than the old way of living and now I am entering another way of living - living with my grandparents.

Maybe it is time for me to find someone to love - it is getting about time.  I never really been in love but I think I know the feeling that I have been close to love.  Maybe this feeling of love is something I crave and I am looking for someone to love. Love is so hard to find - it is an intense emotion and I feel like I am not loved.  Of course, my parents love me but I thinking about somebody extra to love me.  Maybe there might be someone.

Love is something that I need - It is like the same feelings as the flowers in the spring or  a nice warm sunny day.  I don't want to be poetic but I think this feeling of love is something I am starting to crave  after the death of my grandparents.  Lord help me move on with my life and help me find my purpose somewhere - I would like to be loved.  I am not desperate but it could be a great feeling that  I am lacking.