Time has been passing by very quickly and it has been a long time since I was a young child. But sometimes I get very nostalgic and sentimental about the times I had when I was a child. There was a hidden time in my life when things were pretty good, and things were pretty peaceful and that was in the early days of elementary school.
Of course, I had my day to day struggles back in elementary school, but I do remember the first real good friends I have in school and these kids are still in my memories. Many of them did move away and I never got to see them again......until now, thanks to the internet. Someday I can rekindle the spirit and I think I need the spirit to go through.
My first friends in school are a distant memory but it was a good memory. They helped me get through my day to day life and they were very special to me. I do miss these people and they were just pure awesome.
No words can describe the small friendships I had when I was young, but they were simple, yet powerful friends. I am thinking back if these friends haven't moved away - high school and elementary school will not be the same.
A similar time might be coming in the future. I am hoping there is going to be a time when it was the same spirit as it was in my first years of school, such as the second grade. That year was when the true me was starting to exposed. Second grade is when I got started with music and second grade is when the personality started to come out. There are still some remnants of this spirit when I was younger but it looks like it has been faded away; just like these people have moved away.
These people had moved away and went in their directions; it looks like I had moved away and went through my directions.
In very simple second grade language, there has been some quote from a old friend of mine in elementary school that sticks to me as of 2013. It looks like that 15 years had passed already - a very long time but the spirit seems to stick on.
I'll keep the quoter anonymous but this was very inspiring to me:
"Tomorrow is a dream. Today is not a dream. Sometimes it is both."
For a second grader, that was very powerful and inspirational, as well as very impressive. This shows some pretty deep abstract thought for a second grader, which is pretty advanced for the person's age. I had looked through an old newspaper clipping of second grade writing and this does stick in my mind.
Maybe this life I have been in might be just a dream. All these things that I am going through might be just in a dreamlike state - it might be a consciousness and that consciousness is controlled by God. Sometimes I am skeptical about this "God" but it looks like there is some purpose in life. I am in here for a purpose and all these things that happen to me for a reason. This life I am living in might be in some sort of dream, and it seems like it is a never ending nightmare. Some days I want to just escape this world but I am stuck in this world - this consciousness and I should try to fight through this.
A lot of the things that I am going through is here for a purpose. I have a purpose in life, and all the things are mapped out in a pattern.
College, at my current state, is not really my best time in my life, but I have to go through these things for a purpose. There is some purpose in my college life just like the purpose of my high school life and my elementary school life. I am supposed to meet these people for a reason. I am supposed to be exposed to this environment for a reason.
It looks like I have been living this continuous nightmare and things are falling apart, but the events, if you look back to connect to each other to a bigger purpose and that could be deciphered. I am most likely to go through this before I go through that - this is how it is supposed to work.
Maybe college is simply not supposed to be the most social and fun time - it is supposed to be that for other people. Second grade might be the time when I had my fun and some parts of high school, but this college life seems to not have the same effect. That might be the dream of college that I have when I got there - the fantasy of college but this is not reality. Unless I have to get off my butt and make this dream a reality.
Maybe there is a message and a lesson that I need to learn. A big lesson. A really big lesson I have to learn and I might be asking for this throughout high school. Maybe I did make the wrong choices and this may be the consequences of my action. I came into school acting all cocky and stupid; this is probably what I am asking for. I am falling on my butt and I need to get the message. Maybe I asked for this college life but actually there might be some good points for this too.
These events can happen any other time in my life but these events might be here for a reason. A big reason and a purpose. It looks like it was just timed just perfectly in the circumstances to finally get that job before the big storm. I could of chickened out and never would of gotten that job. But thank goodness I did and it was the right time to get that job.
Right now it might be the right time to do something else and only God will know.
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