It seems like 4 years had passed through my life since I had started college and I had changed drastically. I had grown up a lot and it has been a wonderful experience for me. When I started college, I was a totally different person than when I completed college and I am not done yet.
College has done a lot for me - it got me exposed to a lot of things and it started to help me learn more about myself. I was starting to get a philosophy on things and how things works, and what I agree with and disagree with. I am starting to get an understanding of the world around me, as well as people.
I am not that interested in the natural world as in the social world and I am getting a better understanding of the social world around me. It has been very good for me and I had learned a lot, and I am starting to have a very, wide, comprehensive view of the world around me.
I am starting to learn what people are pulling and I seem to have way better social skills than in high school. I am starting to blend in, but I still have the same quirks from high school that are still coming out. I tend to be pretty introverted and I don't know why. I go through spells when I was pretty introverted and I was pretty extroverted. I think when I find the right people, I tend to be pretty extroverted and there is certain people I was pretty introverted.
I had my extroverted tendencies and with certain people, the extroverted side of me come out, but ever since upper high school, such as the end of my senior year, I started to become more philosophical. I went through spells where I wanted to ponder the world - and that was about 8th grade.
8th grade and parts of 7th grade and even 9th grade I was pretty introverted There was a lot of thinking, especially about the 8th grade. But I am also going through a period of time where I was trying to figure out who I am and where I fit into the world. I was trying to fit a package, then I realized that package was not for me so there was a lot of confusion and ponderance. I think I rather get into the outside world than in the inside world - I rather experience things and fall on my butt instead of thinking things over. I have a fear of falling on my butt - I rather do things at the right place and the right time than falling on my butt. There is lots of figuring out I am trying to do; I am trying to figure out who I am truly am.
But I think I seen a difference with my throughout the high school life and the college life. I was lacking faith and that is through the spirit of God. I think I need to improve my connection with God instead of myself, then I will be connected through other people through God just like high school. I think this "God" is the glue that sticks things together. I start to realize that I am a selfless mortal being just like anyone else and have a purpose to do, and that is decided by God. There are many things about me that is up to God to decide, not me.
It looks like I am trying to decipher myself but there are some things that can't be deciphered and that is through God and Jesus Christ. I think I need to improve my relationship with the Lord in the spiritual world and not as much in the secular world. I do not need to find myself - let others find me and that might be through being a selfless individual controlled by the spirit of God.
Too much of the secularist I have to do this or do this - I think I need to develop my spiritual relationship with some higher being or consciousness like God.
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