Sad moment for me

For about a year or so, I have a huge crush on this girl.  This girl has been very special to me and I have been emotionally attached to this girl.  I wanted to date this girl and I could of had a chance with her; she was really liking me.  But there is a problem - I was in college and she was in high school and I didn't get to see her too often.  Without me knowing it, she actually started to chase after some other guy, assuming that I am comfy and cozy in college.  But I wasn't really that comfy and cozy in college, and I wanted to hang out more with the high school students.

Since she was taken, I felt very heartbroken and that made me somewhat depressed throughout college.  I was trying to find someone to love over the college, but I didn't really had the time or made the time to meet anyone new. 

The problem is that there is a lack of proximity with other people.  I wasn't as heartbroken when I started to take more classes which will make me meet new people, but I was starting to feel a little bit more heartbroken and lonely during the winter months, when I was in classes with less people.  This fall I am going to be very busy and it is time to move on.

She is going to college with me next year, but I doubt I am going to see her or even recognize her.  Friends change when you are in college and people want to start fresh with a brand new idenity.  I think she wants to start fresh with a clean slate and I don't think she wants to hang onto her old friends as she was in high school.  And I should think that way too...I think I have sucessfully transferred to another town and it is time for me to meet new people and to make new friends.  It might be lonely at first, but I think in a few weeks, things are going to be just fine.  By about Student Success Day, I think I am going to have a brand new group of acquaintances, experiences, etc.

The apartment life is going to change.  I am going to be boiled down to one roommate this year, so I am on my own.  But this is not going to be that bad if I know what to do.


I think there is a lesson to be learned:  If I really want something, I should take it first.  I did a very sucessful attempt with the apartment.  There was an opportunity for a very nice apartment to move into so I decided to take it.  I should do this with girls - when the  opportunity comes, I should take it or it is too late.  We are in a competitive world, and it seems like there is more competition that it used to, but that guy did win the fight because of the laws of proximity.  I have been too far apart.  What  I need to do is focus on people that are close to me and see me on a regular basis, such as the people in the apartment or the people in my college classes.  I should not be making matches in heaven or in cyberspace.