What am I made to do?

I am starting to think about and it is my time in my life...what I am made to do?  There is a whole new journey ahead of me and I am made to do something, and I am made for someone, but I don't know who and what.  It looks like there is a world out of open exploration.

When I enter the world - I eventually would have to get a significant amount of money.  This amount of money will be used for me to enter the world and start to find out who and what I am.  There is a lot of exploration out there and I haven't really got my feet wet.  When I get out in the world, I'll have to find many things such as who should I marry, where should I live, what I like to do in my spare time.  There is a brand new identity.

There is a lot of change and I think it is time for me to start developing myself as a person.  I have been asleep at the wheel for a long time but it is time for me to start finding myself - I got some money and I barely spend it, but I think I should do some self exploration. I think I am going to find myself  through other people and relationships.  I think relationships are a way for me to come to life - friendships and romantic relationships will really help me find me who I am.  It is time to change - do I really want to go back to this old person because this old person of mine is not that great.  I spend too much time listening to music and browsing the internet instead of actually facing the world and trying new things.  The internet is pretty boring and not really for entertainment as it is for information.

I think I should try to find out what path I want to go and it looks like I am having ideas of what paths I want to go.  I want to be pretty cool and have things pretty cool.   Back in high school, I went through spells where I was pretty cool and not cool.  I was pretty cool with certain kids - a certain group of kids thought I was pretty cool and they probably knew me through family; not just through the actually think I was pretty cool.  But now in the college, I have to promote myself - I don't have the family ties or the neighborhood/geographical location to make myself pretty cool; I have to do it myself and it is by physical appearance, etc.  I have to do things myself and to put myself out there - I have to market myself.  I think I need to promote myself and let myself be known a lot more - be exposed - it is selling.  They are complete strangers and I do like the familiar, built in thing.  I need to change my image a little bit.  I know I can do this.  I should have a fantasy of what I am going to be and I am going to be that way.

I think I have to show the world what I want and I have ideas - I should show it.  It is in my face and there is some things I have to change about me.  Marketing myself is what I need to do...I tend to be this shy person but when I am shy and whiny, I am going to get shy and whiny.  I don't really pay much attention to things such as posture, clothing style, attitude, and interests, but that is going to be the way to get known. I got to sell myself a lot better and we are in a world where we do have to sell ourselves and to make ourselves more desirable.  We are not as accepting to everyone - everyone is different.

I think it is good for me to start marketing myself a little bit more.  I gotta market myself to want a relationship, etc.