It seems like I am focusing on the negative but I am going to focus more on the positive things that have been happening this semester. I have been the most relaxed in a long time and I am starting to become more reasonable. I am focusing a lot better on my schoolwork and I am actually determined to get grades and to seek help. I am not slacking off, and I have been working very hard to get things fixed such as my grades. For a while, I used to just going under anxiety attacks but now I am being a lot more constructive than I used to be. People are starting to warm up to me and I am starting to get people that are noticing my presence. I have been a little bit shy, but I should realize that people are starting to get friendlier to me than ever before. I joined a club and the kids are very nice, and I even invited myself to play intramural volleyball with them, so I am starting to open up a lot more than I used to be. There are a lot of good things lately the good things outweigh the bad.
The only problem is cleaning issues and I am getting help with that too.
Really this semester has been pretty peaceful if you think about it. There was a lot of academic stress but it looks like I am getting stuff screwed on and putting things back together. I think the readjustment of the medication is sort of a blessing - the last month I was starting to create my own action plan instead of a constant bellyaching session. I am seeing things for the way they are and things are getting a lot better. I am focusing on what is happening right there and now, instead of being in that loop. It seems like I want to grow up and do thing, and I am starting to become more focused. I think there is hope in the future.
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