It looks like things are starting to get pretty good and I am starting to have a lot more confidence with myself. I think it is something to do that I have a goal, a path, a mission and it seems like it seems closer and closer to finding myself. The self exploration era might be coming to a close and I eventually go to the next era of my life.
I predict the next era of my life is going to be a happy time. My main focus in the next 10 years or so is going to be settling down into a home of my home; leaving my nest and finding my own nest, and start earning some income. Only God knows what I will be doing to substantiate that income but I will be doing a lot to society with my talents and my time. The next 10 years is also going to be the period where I am going to find love and get married, have kids and start a family of my own. By the year 2020 I will be probably having 2 kids or more. I have a feeling that the times are going to be good.
Romance has never been an issue in my high school years and even this far into college. It looks like I had fantasy or crushes, but many of them did not like me back or liked someone else. Or some girls were crushing on me and I did not respond back. But I WILL find love and I WILL get married because I AM able to do it. I don't know who I will find but eventually I am getting closer and closer. A buddy of mine predicted I might have my first real "girlfriend" when I am high in the stats. I need to have something to show to other people and I need to have a lot of respect for myself or the community. I need to show that I am a trustable guy and interesting guy that a girl want to date. I am practicing talking to other girls and I am not doing a bad job when I am in the friend zone, but when initital romantic attraction takes place, it seems to make me very uncomfortable. I think I am thinking about the girl at the higher level - jumping ahead and that makes the fear of rejection too high. Too much commitment for someone I don't really know.
I think it might be outside appearance and the way I market myself as well - the details count because girls notice things on appearance. They can see if my shirt is on wrong or something like that. I also need to learn to pay attention to the nonverbal communications - direct eye contact and hair twirling, eye brow raising, and a lightened up face means yes. Looking away means yes too but a blank stare or anxious or angry look or talking to someone else means no.
This is a natural thing that people can do and it is a big thing I need to worry about is physical apperance. I think this having a asymmetrical look means eh...I need to look polished and marketable like I am advertising myself in a store at all times. I am advertising for potential women.
Listening to romantic music might help set the mood and pep me up too.
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