High school has been something that is about 3-4 years ago, which is starting to become a dim memory and I should be really be enjoying my college life, but now I am going to have a more honest look of high school life. High school, with an exception for the typical drama you usually have, was pretty peaceful. A lot of my time in high school was spent on the internet, looking up sites such as MySpace and Facebook. I was on MySpace but I didn't really cause much problems on MySpace. I had a few more problems on Facebook, because the people on Facebook were more "preppy" and "goody goody teacher sucks" and "high school jocks" and it seems like I was desperate for popularity. On MySpace, I was busy doing other things than being involved with high school drama, such as meeting other people from other schools and the like.
Really there was not much drama. I think people pretty much accepted me for who I am and didn't really make a fuss. The only time I had a lot of drama when I was starting to become more or less a "poser" and trying to be popular, but I did not have the social cues to be like the popular kids. I was fine in different classes though, who known me for who I am. A lot of the "drama" was usually involved going after girls just to "make me look good" but really they are meant for the jocks. There were really not as much girls in the school because it was a small school and it seems like I most likely could give a shit less.
Most of high school I pretty much slided through without too much fuss and I did have my friends. I didn't really hang out outside of school too much since I did not have access to a car, but who hangs out anyway because you have sites like MySpace and Facebook. I did join the track team and went to sporting events, which were some pretty good times. High school was not that bad of a time if you think of it - I basically just slid right through. I did have my fun and did learn some lessons, and they day to day things of high school were not a big deal.
High school would of been different with faster internet connection - I would of been in sync with more of the pop culture off of YouTube and stuff like that.
Now I am in college and I should have a more honest look of college. Actually, high school is a little bit better but in the future I am going to scrub college and going to look at it in a more different light. It looked like I partied my way through high school without much growing up; but college was the time when I am finally doing the growing up stuff that are done by many people that are in high school. In high school, I did not have a chance to grow up; I was still basically a child but eventually when I got kicked out the door, I realized I should of grown up. College is probably the more accurate time than high school for the more "growing up" stuff off teenage life. There was a lot more high school drama in college but this stuff pretty much is going to shape me and help find out my idenity.
In college, that was the time I was starting to finally figure out I have some type of disability and I need some treatment. I have been medicated with ADHD and pretty much that might be the root of all the problems in high school; not picking up on social cues. Pretty much with no pill whatsoever, I tend to be these "loner emo" type kids that basically keep to themselves and play video games all the time. That was the first year of college -kind of some messed up kid that really didn't care to be in school and in life in general, and seemed to not like people, and seemed to be depressed. But when I jacked the medicine up to about 60%, my self confidence was rising but there were some kinks to iron out. I was not the emo type kid, but I seem to be more mature, but just a little out of touch. But now with 100% pill my awareness is high and I am just like everyone else in the college.
Right now I am realizing what I am truly going to college for and I am getting treatment. I am getting corrections and things might be very good when I am done with the corrections. It seems like I was in a limbo, but now I am starting to get more screwed on and know what I am doing. I am probably going to have a good path and whatnot too.
My concept of time gets screwed up without the medications and I seem like I want to look back to high school, and I am typing this at the middle of the night. But I am using self expression which will help me go to sleep and get things off my chest. This is called releasing of energy and that might help me fall asleep. Stream of consciousness to get everything off my chest is what I am doing. This is a healthy thing to do and I am getting sleepy. But once a new day comes, I am going to be screwed on and a totally different person will be coming. I think it is time to let go of the past and realize - it was not that bad in high school. Maybe I was not involved with the car or the girlfriend but think about that: These mature responsibilities will make high school rather boring. I heard a lot of kids bitch about work and their relationships on the job and with the economy. You had to worry about inflated gas prices and food prices at the teenage age, which I was lucky I was not dealing with. I was lucky I was not involved with the hassle of keeping grades up for car insurance and the problems with teenage pregnancy, drugs, and the like. There were a lot of things that I was lucky I was not involved with until I got some values and some sense. This is where my ideology is being established and I need my view of the world - pretty conservative - established before I consider jumping in the mature responsibilities of being a teenager.
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